Read my last blog.  Then go to http://westcoast-pacific.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!214E554A6F8EE816!1480.entry, then http://westcoast-pacific.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!214E554A6F8EE816!1550.entry, and finally http://westcoast-pacific.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!214E554A6F8EE816!1643.entry.  I can't do anymore.  My biggest strength is also my biggest weakness -- I'm rather sensitive at times.  And if someone has an issue with me, it'll bother me and even keep me up at night. 

Dear Isabelle.  You were a great friend.  I deeply appreciated you.  I don't understand everything going on, but I one last time want to apologize for any offense that I have caused (even though I have already tried to make peace several times a month ago), or that you believe I caused.  You and I are upset with one another, and at least, I, am hurt we have had a falling out.  You have also offended me/hurt me.  You have accused me of things which are not right.  I forgive you.  I'll say it again ... I forgive you, Isa.  I know you're better than this, because we were friends for a long time, and there was obviously something good about you, or I would never have been friends with you.  None of us are perfect.  I can't change your opinion of me now.  I have learned in life, man can never change another person's opinion. 

You and I have different worldviews.  I am a Christian, saved by the blood of Christ shed for me at Calvary 2,000 years ago.  I'm no better than you.  But unlike the words I've had hurled at me for a month now, I'm saved, by the blood of Christ, and a child of God.  I know who I am in Christ.  I'll never be perfect in this lifetime.  Neither will you.  We will always wrestle with the sinful nature and the new nature given to us through God's Spirit until we meet Him in eternity.  We cannot understand or experience the Holy Spirit in our lives unless we repent of our sins, believe that Jesus is the son of God and that He died in our place for our sins & accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour.  It's nothing to do with karma ... has nothing to do with good deeds.  The most vile person can come to Christ.  I will pray for you, and then release you.  I will not accept or carry any guilt. 

Under normal conditions we deal with the offence when it happens. When an offence happens we make a choice to carry a grudge or deal with it in a Biblical manner.  "So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.  If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!"  (Luke 17:3-5 NIV) Why did the disciples ask, "Increase our faith?" It takes great faith to forgive the same person seven times a day for the same offence. Remember, life and people are too precious to accept as normal the pain and estrangement of offended relationships.

I'm going to hurt, and possibly offend a few people who are on each other's friends list when I edit later this week.  No one should have to make an appeal, as if to get into my good books.  I need to create a buffer zone.  It's called an executive decision.  It's also called tough love -- not so much for the other person, but "tough" on myself, because it will also pain me to part ways with some friends.  You in the middle are not at fault.  But I cannot, and will not, allow my westcoast space to be polluted by this nonsense.Of course, we all have some people who never visit -- they just collect friends for ratings??  Who knows...  I'll edit those as well...

If ever in the future, Isa, you wish to speak to me, in a calm voice, and without all the anger and what's associated with it, I will welcome you.  Please feel free to email me.  I AM staying away from your space, and won't visit, even out of curiosity when I see many hits on my Statistics page from your space.  If YOU see visits from my space, it will not be from me.   The set-up and templates for these blogs are not perfect.   But from this point on, I will be considering this subject closed.  Some of your friends chose to ridicule and jeer at me, and throw all kinds of remarks my way.  I am proud of how my friends have responded. 

I'm going into semi-private mode in a day or two for a while.  First, I'll wait for MSN to read my report. 

One last thing, I hope you accept Christ, one day.  Christianity is not about doing good deeds and hoping God will accept you.  He's done all the work on the Cross.  It's ours to accept.  Christianity is not a part of my life -- it IS my life!  It's a wonderful life! -- not always easy -- but an abundant life!  To quote one of my favourite Christian music artists, Steven Curtis Chapman, the Christian life truly is the great adventure!

I'm not going to quit blogging.  I'm going to continue, and my blog is going to change for the better!  I am not defeated.  I just grew stronger through this.  Rocky Balboa says in his final movie by the same title, "Life hits harder than any man can, and one's ability to keep getting up until the final bell rings is the true measure of self."

I'm reading from Neil T. Anderson's study guide for Victory Over The Darkness.  You may be familiar with one of his other books, The Bondage Breaker.  I'm including this for all of us, including myself.  I'm reading from the study guide, pg. 117;

"Everyone knows what it feels like to be criticized and rejected at times, and often we know criticism and rejection from the very people we so desperately want to please.  All of us have experience the pain of rejection to some degree.

• "...but each of us have been ignored, overlooked or rejected at times by parents, teachers and friends."
• pg 118 (half way down the page); "Rejection, and the accompanying thoughts and feelings, can be a major deterrent to growth and maturity.  What thoughts and feelings about yourself do you deal with as a result of the times you've been rejected?  How do you think these thoughts and feelings have blocked your growth -- spiritually and otherwise?  There are various ways to respond to rejection, and most of us choose one of the three negative options rather than the positive approach.
• Beat the System -- Some people respond to rejection by learning to compete and scheming to get ahead. Striving to earn acceptance and significance through their performance, these people are characterized by perfectionism, emotion insulation, anxiety and stress. Committed to controlling people and circumstances for their own ends, these beat-the-system people also have a hard time coming under God's authority.  (study questions) Why is "beat the system" an appealing option for someone who has been rejected?  Do you know someone who fits the above description? Describe the rejection that person experienced and the consequences of this response. Beat-the-system people are some of the most insecure people you will meet. Sadly, their strategy only delays further and inevitable rejection.
• Give in to the System -- Most people today respond to rejection by simply giving in to the system. They continue to try to satisfy others, but their failures prompt them to believe that they really are unlovable and that being rejected is understandable. These people tend to blame God for their situation and find it difficult to trust Him. (study question)Why do many people choose this option in response to the rejection they've experienced? Do you know someone who fits the above description? Describe the rejection that person experienced and the consequences of this response.  (page 120) People who give in to the system's false judgment can only look forward to more and more rejection. They have bought the lie and even reject themselves.
• Rebel Against the System -- Rebels and dropouts respond to rejection by saying, "I don't need you or your love." Deep inside they still crave acceptance, but they refuse to acknowledge their need. Full of self-hatred and bitterness, rebels see God as just another tyrant and rebel against Him just like they rebel against everyone else.  (study questions) What is appealing and even understandable about this response to rejection? Do you know someone who fits the above description? Describe the rejection that person experienced and the consequences of this response.  This person's rebellious attitude and behaviour tend to alienate others, and so the rebel experiences further rejection.
• Your Response -- Where do you see yourself or traits of yourself in these profiles of negative responses to rejection? Is your approach to beat the system, give in to the system, or rebel against the system? Explain, if you can, why you have chosen that option and the consequences of your choice.
• Defensiveness Is Defenseless -- There are two reasons why you never need to respond defensively to the world's critical, negative evaluation of you.  (page 121) First, if you are wrong, you don't have a defense.  When you're wrong, any defense would be rationalization at best and a lie at worst. Think about times you've been wrong and responded defensively. Was your response a rationalization or a lie? Why is it so hard to admit when you're wrong instead of being defensive?

      Second, if you are right, you don't need a defense. The Righteous Judge, who did not revile when He was reviled or make threats when He suffered (see 1 Peter 2:23), will exonerate you. Comment on that fact. How can this truth make a practical difference in your life?

"...you are not obligated to respond to criticism defensively. After all, the world's system for determining your value as a person is not what determines your value. You are in the world, but you are not of the world. You are in Christ. So if you find yourself responding to rejection defensively, let it remind you to focus your attention on those things that will build up and establish your faith."

(pg. 122) When You Are Tempted To Criticize Or Reject Others  Rejection is a two-way street: You can receive it and you can give it. We've looked at how to respond when you are criticized and rejected. Let's look now at how to respond to the temptation to criticize and reject others. (study question) What does it mean to you that you are responsible for your own character? What does it mean that you are responsible to meet other people's needs in the context of marriage or any other relationship between believers?

• Relationships don't work when, instead of assuming responsibility for your own character, you attack the other person's character and, instead of looking out for that person's needs, you are selfishly absorbed in meeting your own needs.

Think about the last time you clashed with your spouse, a friend, a coworker or even one of your children. Does the description you just read apply to what was going on? Be specific about how you failed to assume responsibility for your own character and attacked the other person and how you were concerned about your own needs rather than the other person's. An apology and request for forgiveness may be in order.  (page 123)  Answer this somewhat rhetorical question: What kind of families and churches would we have if we all assumed responsibility for our own character and sought to meet the needs of those with who we live and worship?  Instead of devoting ourselves to developing our own character and to meeting each other's needs, we often yield to Satan's prodding to criticize each other selfishly consider only ourselves.

• Focus on Responsibilities -- Another way Satan has deceived us in our interpersonal relationships is by tempting us to focus on our rights instead of our responsibilities.  Describe things you feel you have a right to and therefore tend to demand. Now consider the flip side of those rights -- your responsibility in the given situation, be it your marriage, your family, your job. What does this discussion about rights versus responsibilities show you about yourself and where you need to be working to become more the person God wants you to be? What specific step will you take?
• (pg. 124) Don't Play the Role of Conscience -- Sometimes we are tempted to play the role of the Holy Spirit or conscience in someone else's life.  (study questions) How do you respond when someone assumes the role of Holy Spirit or conscience for you? Why do you respond that way? When have you acted as Holy Spirit or conscience for someone? Be specific about the issue, the person and that person's reaction. What good came from your self-appointed role as Holy Spirit or conscience? Take note!  The Holy Spirit knows exactly when and how to bring conviction to a person -- that's His job.  Your job is to surround people with acceptance and love.

I've been tagged by Linda!  Here goes!

A. Attached or single? | Single, my phone number is 555-****

B. Best friend? | yes

C. Cake or pie? | pie

D. Day of choice? | Wednesday

E. Essential item? | wristwatch

F. Favourite colour? | blue

G. Gummy bears or worms? | how about Smarties?

H. Hometown? | Vancouver

I. Indulgence? | nacho's

J. January or July? | July

K. Kids? | Looking for my future wife first! The phone number is 555-****

L. Life isn’t complete without? | music!

M. Marriage date? | not married yet.   555-****

N. Number of brothers & sisters? | 1 younger sister

O. Oranges or apples? | oranges

P. Phobias? | Claustrophobic

Q. Quotes? | If you want to be heard, speak up! If you want to be noticed, stand up! If you want to be appreciated, shut up!

R. Reasons to smile? | out on the water during a sunset

S. Season of choice? | on the westcoast, it would be the fall

T. Tag seven peeps! | I’ll think about it.

U. Unknown fact about me? | my eyes tear up & my bottom lip quivers every time when the families on Extreme

                                          Makeover: Home Edition call out, “Bus driver, move that bus!”

V. Vegetable? | things like, like zucchini, spinach, & red/yellow/orange peppers ... i guess all vegetables!  

W. Worst habits? | cracking my knuckles

X. X-ray or ultrasound? | Ultrasound because I often injure myself and go to physio

Y. Your favorite food? | BBQ salmon!

Z. Zodiac sign? | gemini

Click on any of the thumbnails to get a better view!  I just lost a couple pounds today!  I'm sure of it!  I went up the Grouse Grind today.  Man, was it ever gruelling today. And let me tell ya -- what?  You don't know what the Grouse Grind is?  Oh I'm sorry.  Let me back up a little.

Grouse Mountain is one of our many ski mountains in the lower mainland.  It's basically known as Vancouver's backyard.  We have wonderful playgrounds here!  The steep 30° trail originates from an old mountaineering trail, as well as from old animal trails.  It's 3 km / 853 metres high, and you'll burn approximately 1,100 calories on the trek up the approximately 2,830 steps.  Stairmaster from hell!  A reader out in blog land retorts, "You said 'hell!'  Naughty! Naughty!"  Ok ok, i hear ya.  It's also popularly known as Mother Nature's Stairmaster.  Better?   Anyway, if you'd like more information, click here.  

    Man! was it muggy!  It was so stuffy today!  It made the hike a lot more strenuous.  The air got better as you neared the top.  There's no other work-out quite like it!  I mean, there are other mountains you can tackle, but you go try taking almost 3,000 steps and see what kind of a burn you get!  You're gonna get fit!  It doesn't take long!  You meet great people up the trail.  I like being with people who want to get out and do things.  It's fun! 

    As you near the top, it gets so steep, that at times you're on all fours climbing on what barely resembles a trail anymore.  That's because it's so steep that you are using tree roots like a ladder to pull yourself up.  Your legs are beyond burning by the time you get to the last quarter of the grind, and it's all will power from this point on!  There are ropes on the sides of the trail right at the very end to help out with your balance, because so many people's legs are ready to give out!  *pause*  Ok ok, the rope is really there to help you drag you're almost lifeless body up the last remaining metres!   But then you reach the top!  And there's this view you get when you reach the top of an enormous solid rock plateau.  There's a water tap outside where everyone refills their water bottle.  Everyone just sits up there and enjoys the view.  And you feel a sense of accomplishment, whether it's your first time ... or your 100th time.

These are the only pictures I took today near the base.  I then put my camera away in my backpack.  Enjoy!